I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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