p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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