he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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