I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
