Taylor Swift is so right about you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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