spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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