i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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