CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
