I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
