its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
