Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just found a bag of teeth...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
