We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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