i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
