Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
