I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
