Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
do herpes really smell.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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