i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
