Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I won the penis lottery.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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