im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
