her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
