Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?

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  (704): the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer? http://tfl.nu/buzt
  Replies (9) Good night (821) Bad night (1380)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about

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  (678): Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about http://tfl.nu/m34e
  Replies (32) Good night (7906) Bad night (1166)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  it's not cheating when I paid for it

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  (678): it's not cheating when I paid for it http://tfl.nu/o8mk
  Replies (67) Good night (1690) Bad night (5536)
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  (619): View more from California

  He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.

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  (619): He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy. http://tfl.nu/8ucs
  Replies (14) Good night (1248) Bad night (5314)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.

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  (705): You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden. http://tfl.nu/3tyu
  Replies (11) Good night (2021) Bad night (1212)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.

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  (402): Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex. http://tfl.nu/hnii
  Replies (4) Good night (3598) Bad night (823)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

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  (440): Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies. http://tfl.nu/iuff
  Replies (14) Good night (2435) Bad night (1961)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just drove past the dude that came in your sock

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  (315): Just drove past the dude that came in your sock http://tfl.nu/cm59
  Replies (3) Good night (806) Bad night (1627)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.

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  (403): Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit. http://tfl.nu/379t
  Replies (10) Good night (2971) Bad night (636)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.

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  (832): She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me. http://tfl.nu/8d60
  Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (411)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.

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  (801): I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker. http://tfl.nu/s4wz
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (426)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it

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  (604): I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it http://tfl.nu/ucqf
  Replies (1) Good night (752) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.

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  (408): I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes. http://tfl.nu/i8od
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (460)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is

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  (802): He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is http://tfl.nu/k0fl
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (169)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My dick has a subreddit

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  (630): My dick has a subreddit http://tfl.nu/u9zr
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (214)

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