Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm gonna fight the coyote