You work out of a Hotel?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.