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• (281): View more from Texas

  Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party

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