I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize