We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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