she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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