I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
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That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket