This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.