Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
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I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen