Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.