Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
