When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.