I think about you every night.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.