we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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