Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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