The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
