Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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