Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
