I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.