Don't you send me to vm
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.