actually, I'm a sock model
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.