Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.