just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize