i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
why do cheetos always look like penises
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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