I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize