All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
