Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize