dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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