Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
