I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Bring me that man meat
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
