OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.