paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.