I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
