i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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