I wish I could teleport
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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