I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
