Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize