Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
