I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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