I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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